Self Care First

In my work as a clinical mental health counselor, I often talk to clients about the importance of self care. It should come, I suggest to them, before they care for partners, parents or children. When we’re in our best place, we’re in the best position to help others.

There are times, however, when I don’t live by my own advice. And just as I tell clients we have to forgive ourselves our “slips,” I know I have to give myself some slack once in a while.

Recently, my wife, Terrie, and I took a long weekend at Carolina Beach. It had been 18 months since we last went. And a year since we last went anywhere (also a long weekend) without any family obligations. These little getaways are rechargers for Terrie and me; we love each other’s company in a different place. Although we may whine about having to return to work once we get home, we know we are more ready to tackle life’s issues after some R&R.

Not everyone has the chance or wealth to travel. So what can self care look like in that event?

Perhaps it’s being able to feel good about self through exercise. Maybe it’s taking a ride somewhere and enjoying the scenery for a few hours. It might be treating yourself to a nice dinner out or cooking a favorite meal at home. Or it could it be buying that cool shirt you spotted online. Self care also can be putting boundaries in place to protect yourself from toxic people.

Self care comes in many forms. It can cost money, but it doesn’t have to. Being aware of the need for it—and committing to do it—are steps toward better mental health.